Wednesday is often called "hump day." I'll ignore the seventh grader in my brain right now, and instead acknowledge that often, by Wednesday, we need just a little bit of extra juice, excitement, energy, or inspiration to make it through the week. Sometimes that happens by Tuesday. Sometimes by Monday.
Whenever you hit your mid-week slumps, though, action movies can be a great source of inspiration. Fight the bad guys, save the helpless, fall in love, all in two hours. Kinda makes you want to get up and write an expense report.
Don't have two hours? Then just watch trailers. This one should last you for a while!
Well, I'm off to go switch bodies with Fred Savage.
Until Now,
Addison
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Fortune Cookies
Fortune Cookies are great. They're low in calories, unique in shape, abundant in wisdom, and free with lunch. But just in case you haven't got Chinese on the menu today, I brought a fortune cookie for you.
But I guess like all things in life, even fortune cookies can have an off day.
To make up for that, though, I've written my own fortune for you. Enjoy:
Some days, no matter how hard we try, things still work out alright. May this be one of those days for you. Like it did for these people.
But I guess like all things in life, even fortune cookies can have an off day.
To make up for that, though, I've written my own fortune for you. Enjoy:
Some days, no matter how hard we try, things still work out alright. May this be one of those days for you. Like it did for these people.
Friday, March 26, 2010
A Day in the Life...
Have you ever noticed that life sometimes seems to get into a bit of a pattern? Every day you wake up from the same bed, drink the same coffee, put on the same underwe-- um, shoes, and eat the same breakfast:
You get in the same car, go to the same office, and use the same computer (although you've never quite gotten the hang of it):
You log off the same computer, leave the same office, get in the same car, drive the same residential streets, and just try to go home without going broke:
Finally, you get home, fix the same dinner, sit on the same couch, and turn on the TV, where on your favorite quiz shows you look to your educational superiors for wisdom.
Thank God for the weekend! See you on Monday when we get to do this over again!
You get in the same car, go to the same office, and use the same computer (although you've never quite gotten the hang of it):
You log off the same computer, leave the same office, get in the same car, drive the same residential streets, and just try to go home without going broke:
Finally, you get home, fix the same dinner, sit on the same couch, and turn on the TV, where on your favorite quiz shows you look to your educational superiors for wisdom.
Thank God for the weekend! See you on Monday when we get to do this over again!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Educational Value Wednesday
It would be a shame for a humor blog to have no educational value. And so, in the vain of Schoolhouse Rock (and in part because of my continuing nostalgia from Monday,) I'm thinking of a favorite childhood toy of mine. Does anyone remember these:
One of the simple joys of my childhood was playing the hangman-type game on Speak and Spell, and hoping that "Scissors" would be the eight-letter word. It was so rewarding to see half of the letters come up with the push of one key. I also learned how to share as a child, so I found a way for you to play!
Have a great Wednesday!
One of the simple joys of my childhood was playing the hangman-type game on Speak and Spell, and hoping that "Scissors" would be the eight-letter word. It was so rewarding to see half of the letters come up with the push of one key. I also learned how to share as a child, so I found a way for you to play!
Have a great Wednesday!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monday Nostalgia
I spent a small part of Saturday morning watching the Rugrats on DVD. Does anybody remember them? Knock-kneed, large-headed infants explore the world - and through some wonderful form of magic, they are able to share their pre-verbal musings with us. Sometimes I get nostalgic for childhood. And I think sometimes on Monday, we all get nostalgic for Saturday. Or Friday night. Or any day that isn't Monday.
In honor of Saturday morning cartoons, though, it's time for a commercial break: Remember these? I don't know if they're so much funny as they are 80's-ish, but 80's-ish can be pretty funny anyway. I think the main humor here is that these actually existed:
And now back to our show...
I loved pro wrestling as a kid. And now, as a grown-up kid, I realize the humor I missed as a child, watching grown men in spandex calling themselves "Bastion Booger" and "Battle Kat." Wrestling was my Saturday morning cartoon, though, and so let's watch some together in honor of Saturday.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this contest is a "loser must flee" match - the winner will be the contestant who makes his opponent ... run away! In the blue suit - "Baby Blue" -- and in the shiny black, "Felixus Maximus."
Have a reminiscent week!
In honor of Saturday morning cartoons, though, it's time for a commercial break: Remember these? I don't know if they're so much funny as they are 80's-ish, but 80's-ish can be pretty funny anyway. I think the main humor here is that these actually existed:
And now back to our show...
I loved pro wrestling as a kid. And now, as a grown-up kid, I realize the humor I missed as a child, watching grown men in spandex calling themselves "Bastion Booger" and "Battle Kat." Wrestling was my Saturday morning cartoon, though, and so let's watch some together in honor of Saturday.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this contest is a "loser must flee" match - the winner will be the contestant who makes his opponent ... run away! In the blue suit - "Baby Blue" -- and in the shiny black, "Felixus Maximus."
Have a reminiscent week!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Late Night TV
It's pretty late right now - and what better to fill those late night hours than infomercials. They have just enough plot to keep you interested (Will Sarah EVER be able to get out that unsightly coffee stain from her carpet?), enough repetition to make sure that even in a state of sleep-deprivation you get the point, and a thrilling crescendo (not $99, not $69, not $59, not even $49... only 4 easy payments of $11.99).
The problem with watching TV late at night is that even this seems like a legitimate purchase:
Although - admit it - you were hooked from the beginning. How WILL she be able to keep her shoulder from being chafed.
Turn about is fair play, though. Recording these infomercials in a state of deprivation can also lead to some poor life choices:
(If you don't have nine minutes, skip ahead to 7:25 - 7:55). "Why can't these products just work like they say they do.)
* some offensive language.
Have a nice day - but guard your wallet at night.
The problem with watching TV late at night is that even this seems like a legitimate purchase:
Although - admit it - you were hooked from the beginning. How WILL she be able to keep her shoulder from being chafed.
Turn about is fair play, though. Recording these infomercials in a state of deprivation can also lead to some poor life choices:
(If you don't have nine minutes, skip ahead to 7:25 - 7:55). "Why can't these products just work like they say they do.)
* some offensive language.
Have a nice day - but guard your wallet at night.
Monday, March 15, 2010
License and Registration, Please.
Most of hate commuting. I live in LA, where a 40-mile drive can easily take three hours, if you time it wrong. Still, it's quicker than running. There's a really loose connection between commuting and driver's licenses, but I'm going to use it anyway. The stereotype is that license photos are usually pretty bad. I actually don't mind mine, because it's from a time when I weighed quite a bit less than I do now. It says I weigh less than I do now, too. And if age is your enemy instead of weight, the license can be your friend yet again. There's a story that a famous actress was found to have altered her date of birth on her license to seem a bit younger. http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20121158,00.html
A few guys in Virginia decided to just go with the usual flow, though, and see how --- uniquely --- they could get their photos to come out. Check it out.
Makes you feel at least a little better, right? And... what would happen if they got pulled over by this guy:
A few guys in Virginia decided to just go with the usual flow, though, and see how --- uniquely --- they could get their photos to come out. Check it out.
Makes you feel at least a little better, right? And... what would happen if they got pulled over by this guy:
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Ten Minute Humor
The workweek (or school week) (or just Monday and the four days after it) usually involve a lot of stress, deadlines, impatient people, rude people, mistakes, lunches eaten too quickly, traffic, and maybe more talk radio than is healthy. It makes us irritable and tense, but creates substantial need for therapists and masseurs.
Enter humor - laughing burns calories, relieves stress, and creates opportunities for socialization (just like cigarettes, except cheaper and no yellow teeth. Plus you can do it inside without endangering others' health.) Ten minutes of laughing a day might just turn a crappy day into -- well, something survivable. Or enjoyable. And it fits into a standard cigarette break, so you don't even have to feel guilty about it.
I like to laugh, and I like to share what I find funny -- sometimes something is funny on its own merit; sometimes things are funny unintentionally, but the laughter is pretty much the same. I'll also throw in some fascinating things. And some fun things. So let's try to spend ten minutes most work days laughing together. See you on Monday, but until then --
A fairly recent trend on the internet has been literal music videos - musicians take a vintage music video, and replace the audio track with a more apt, but still musical, description of what's going on. See if you like it better than the original:
Just for comparison's sake - here's the original, which also might seem a little funny:
See you on Monday.
Enter humor - laughing burns calories, relieves stress, and creates opportunities for socialization (just like cigarettes, except cheaper and no yellow teeth. Plus you can do it inside without endangering others' health.) Ten minutes of laughing a day might just turn a crappy day into -- well, something survivable. Or enjoyable. And it fits into a standard cigarette break, so you don't even have to feel guilty about it.
I like to laugh, and I like to share what I find funny -- sometimes something is funny on its own merit; sometimes things are funny unintentionally, but the laughter is pretty much the same. I'll also throw in some fascinating things. And some fun things. So let's try to spend ten minutes most work days laughing together. See you on Monday, but until then --
A fairly recent trend on the internet has been literal music videos - musicians take a vintage music video, and replace the audio track with a more apt, but still musical, description of what's going on. See if you like it better than the original:
Just for comparison's sake - here's the original, which also might seem a little funny:
See you on Monday.
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