The Future and Freebies

I recently listened to the Flight of the Conchords song, "The Humans are Dead," which opens by setting the scene as, "the distant future... the year 2000." Now Bret and Jamaine are referring to music in the distant future for comedic effect --- but music will probably still be around in the distant future.

I've been impressed by the staying power of classical music, much of which has remained popular for hundreds of years. I wonder how many of the recent hit songs will still be played in the next century. I don't think too many of my great-great-great grandkids will ever sing, "oops, I did it again." And probably none of them will know what zig-a-zig-ah means.

Still, when folks in the real distant future look back at our music, what might they think (after a millenium or so passes, and time distorts some facts.)?

Here's a suggestion:





And here's a bonus video, just because I love it:




Pong, which shows up in the candle video, was the first hit video game. It's pretty awesome to be the first to do something. Would you like to be the first in your country to do something? The first ten people to write to tenminutehumor@yahoo.com will get a pack of Ten Minute Humor cards. If you keep them for yourself, you might be the only person in all of Australia to have them. Or give them away, and see if they make you popular.


Have a great week.

Want to be the first in your country to do something

Monday and Coffee

Sometimes it's really difficult to get up in the morning, on any day. Bed is so inviting, and the work that needs to be done in the day looks large, intimidating, or just generally unpleasant. But we (eventually?) get up, and somehow get through the day. "Somehow" generally involves coffee for most of us.

Mondays are like mornings squared, and so it seems fitting to talk about coffee briefly. No matter where you live, you're probably close to a Starbucks. My typical order is a venti iced green tea, light ice, three pumps of peppermint. Sixty calories, and thirteen syllables. It's hard to beat that ratio. Do you have a more obnoxiously named "regular" drink?

By the way --- free trivia --- did you know that a 20-ounce dripped robusta coffee has about twice the caffeine as a double espresso?

Rituals can be comforting, but can also become boring. I guess that's why the abundance of variety coffee drinks has found a significant audience. I don't know. I don't like coffee, actually. It tastes bad. Coffee ice cream just doesn't work for me. A mocha latte would be a lot better if they held the coffee out, but then it's a "hot cocoa," which doesn't sound nearly as impressive at an office meeting. What's that in your cup? Oh, it's a "triple venti extra skinny caramel mocha macchiato with extra foam, whip and double drizzle" - what's that you have Addison? "It's a hot cocoa." I've already lost image points in their eyes. Can't do it.

But still, it seems like some folks get bored with coffee. Perhaps even more bored than the rest of us, Phronk has started putting weird things in coffee, like blended Easter candy. Or salmon.

Blenders seem to come in quite handy for staving off boredom. Once you've blended candy and salmon to your morning cup of Joe, there seem to be no limits to what you can try. Check out this chemiluminescent smoothie:





Just about to leave for lunch? Hungry for smoothies? Try ordering one of the secret menu items at Jamba Juice (or any of the other secret items brilliantly collected by the folks at Mental_Floss.)

That's it for today, but before you go, what is your most unique (or most preposterous) typical drink order? Leave it in the comments, and see if you can make any converts!

When Soft Guys go Tough --- or Real Life Superheroes

Last time, I talked about the shame it is when tough guys go soft. Hulk Hogan singing the days of the week, and Mr. T in short shorts singing about the miserable groans his mother made when he was born make even the toughest of the tough seem, well... I wanted to say "vulnerable" or "sensitive," but I think a less positive adjective might fit in better. Maybe... creepy? And I didn't even touch on some of the strangely costumed pro wrestlers I loved as a kid... Please don't judge me too hard...

Either way, if tough guys can get in touch with their... tender side... why can't us normal folks become superheroes? Recently, a college baseball pinch-hitter went "superman" in a big eighth-inning rally. By the way, "eighth" is a pretty difficult word to spell... The magic happens a bit after the 20 second mark.





Sports can definitely bring out the superhero in all of us. Or at the very least -- sports video games can make us imaginary superheroes. Have you ever yelled at the TV during a sporting event? How about during a video game? See what I mean?


Not all heroes are sports-related, though; and sometimes, fantasy and real life blend. For example, did you know that the Santa Claus Police Department is on Holiday Lane?

Hopefully you're inspired on this Friday afternoon to weekend acts of heroism. But if you'd rather just watch heroes and be inspired --- remember Homestar Runner from your college dorm? They just recently released their first video of the year.

Be inspired!

When Tough Guys go Soft

In the 80's, it was really easy to be tough. Just wear small clothes, talk unintelligibly, and be about 6'10". But with masculinity comes fame, and with fame comes the opportunity to do other things for money... Some of which are... sad. Or funny. Or just really tough in the, "I'm so tough that I can do this and still be tough" way. You decide. But my vote's against that last one:

The Five (?) Senses

I un-learned something today. I'd thought it true since childhood, but once I did un-learn it, it was plainly obvious. Thanks to the interestingly-titled "Book of General Ignorance" I now have a different answer to a question which I thought quite settled.

Quick! How many senses are there? List them!


I'll wait...



Are you done?



OK. You probably got the same five I had. Apparantly, there's at least four more: sense of heat; sense of where your limbs are, even when your eyes are closed; sense of pain; sense of balance.

I'm sure the sense of taste is maybe the easiest to advertise for, and also provides some easy fodder for humor: strange names, strange menus, strange ideas, and even good ideas poorly executed are all sources of humor.


I would also wonder if emotions might be considered a tenth sense. If so, here's one company's idea of how one sense (taste), and help another sense...

Enjoy It! Antidepressant Cookies - watch more funny videos

Enjoy your day!

The Hobbit

I just finished re-reading the Hobbit, which has me wanting to re-watch the Lord of the Rings movies. Want to watch them, too, but don't have twelve hours to spare? The folks at "How it Should Have Ended" have created a hyper-condensed alternate version, presented here in it's entirety.



Had enough yet? If not, try this version of speed hangman, this list of trivia, or this list of costumes. I wonder how many pairs of hobbit feet they've sold. And I wonder why.

Just a quick smile...

Sometimes kids say the darndest things. With only a few syllables, they touch our hearts, convey wisdom, and speak difficult truth. A neighbor child once captured in eight syllables one of the deepest, most soul-searching truths common to most humans: "I Don't Want to Practice Patience."

Still, brevity is a skill to be mastered, and sometimes humor can be found in fewer syllables. Like zero.